Abusers of Domestic Violence
You can never tell in an instant if a person is an abuser of domestic violence. The abuser has different persona, and they aren't easy to spot. Your friendly-looking neighbor, who always goes to church, could be an abuser. As much as they can, they will try to hide their victims, forcing them to wear clothes that can cover the bruises.
There are no accidents in domestic violence. An abuser does have a choice to hurt or not to hurt a partner. Most of the abusers use being under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or being stressed-out due to work as a shield trying to rationalize his/her actions, but really, there's nothing rational about it. An abuse can be damaging to a victim's mind, body and soul. An abuse… physically, psychologically, sexually or emotionally, can ruin a relationship.
Abusers have a little feeling of pride of themselves. To feel good about themselves, they try to control someone, giving them an incorrect sense of power and might. They are irresponsible and don't care about their actions, putting all the blame to their victims. More often, women are the victims. But keep in mind, men can be victims too. Anyone can be a victim.
Abusers have different backgrounds, different experiences that made them who they are. Abusers are similar in only one aspect, that is, their choice of controlling their loved one in whatever means. There are many tactics used by abusers. He can be manipulative in the sense that he distorts his controlling behavior and pass it off as concern. He may reason that he is controlling because you are not a good decision maker. He controls all of the finances so you cannot move freely as you please.
The abuser may have unrealistic expectations from his wife or children. He may expect them to perform in a certain manner and if they do not, it is deemed acceptable for him to punish them severely. The abuser may also be an excessively jealous person. He gets jealous of everyone, even her own family. He demands all of her time and demands her to break all ties. He accuses her family and friends of being a menace to their relationship.
The victims are always to blame, that's the point of view of the abusers. The abuser accepts no mistakes from his end, it's always on the end of the partner, making the victim his perfect and convenient scapegoat. Abusers force their victims to do sexual activity it prefers, irregardless of the partners condition. Whether the partner has just given birth, or ill.. the abuser doesn't give a care. If not satisfied, the abuser may assault the victim.
In using foul language, the abuser is at its best. Belittling the victim in front of other people. Whether relatives, friends or just acquaintances, the abuser doesn't seem to care and call you stupid just to show he/she have the control and the victim is always at the service. Serve three meals a day, clean the house, and satisfy him/her at night, that's what the abuser wants in that particular order. Threatening you that he/she will take away the kids, just to get what he/she wants. Selfish and inconsiderate, the abuser that is.