How To Look Like An Expert At The Espresso Bar
Until recently, espresso bars were patronized only by those who understood quality coffee and how to order it. This was true not only in traditional "coffee towns" like Seattle and Portland, but in the espresso bars that served a niche clientele in smaller markets. These were people who knew the difference between a well made espresso drink and the prefab coffee from a machine at the local gas station.
Today, espresso bars are ubiquitous in any decent sized city or town. Thats a good thing for those of us who like espresso, but has presented its own set of problems. The problem Ive encountered at establishments that arent in traditional espresso country is that far too often the customers are neophytes who not only dont know what they want but dont understand the entire concept of espresso. Frequently, lines will ensue not because the staff isnt pulling shots quickly enough or that theyve got too many customers but because some clueless newbie is hemming and hawing over what to order.
For the benefit of newcomers, here are some tips that will help you look like an expert when you go to order espresso.
–Know what you want. Much like a bar that serves cocktails, there are a number of standard drinks that are universal. And in the same way that most people have a few drinks that are their favorites, you should have your own "regular" espresso drinks. Maybe you'll have a hot latte or cappuccino in the winter, and an iced latte in the summer. Also, make sure to know what size you want–most espresso bars have different names for small, medium and large. If you want a specific kind of mild or other personal touches, make sure you specify it when you order. Your barista may ask, but they shouldn't be expected to.
–Avoid taking your children to an espresso bar. This is not only in the interest of preserving the ambiance of a good espresso bar, but for the sake of your kids as well. Kids don't want to drink coffee. Take them to get an ice cream or somewhere they'll actually enjoy. If you must take them, the same rules apply for them that apply to adults–make sure they know what they want. Many espresso places also serve soft drinks, if not they'll usually have bottled juices or they can whip up an Italian soda. In any case, its not their responsibility to come up with "kid friendly" drinks any more than I'd expect the local Chuck E. Cheese to make me a martini or a single malt scotch. Also, make sure they're own their best behavior. Explain to them that this is a grown up environment, and they're expected to conduct themselves as such.
–Tip the barista. Generous tipping is a good rule in general. It's good karma, and helps make your life easier and more pleasant. Nowhere is this more evident than the local espresso bar. Most will have a tip cup, but if they don't don't be shy about slipping the help a dollar when you pay for your drink. It'll be the best investment you ever make, and particularly if its a place you patronize regularly.
–If you want your drink made a certain way, explain it while you order. This implies you know what youre doing and should not be confused with stammering around about espresso basics. The good news is that most of the big chains like Starbucks and Barnes and Noble train their help to make a decently consistent drink. Theyre taught to follow a procedure, however, and if you want your drink done a certain way that isnt standard operating practice youll need to explain what you want. Don't assume that just because your local coffee shop makes a drink a certain way that every other espresso bar in the world will do the same. If you're in doubt, ask.
–And one final tip: the word is ES-PRESS-O and NOT EX-PRESS-O. Theres no X in the word. Nothing will tip you off as a coffee novice faster than this fundamental mistake.