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Oh the guilt of disliking Christmas when "Tis The Season to be Merry" but I just don't get it.I have thought about this many times let me tell you and so much so that I had to put my thoughts into words hoping that it may solidify some kind of answer in my mind. Often when I write down what I think, the words start to make it real and come flowing out in great rapidity, giving me a reasoned and logical conclusion to my initial question. It perturbs me why I feel like this to say the least.

Known to my friends as Miss Positivity and known to my students as the great Motivator, how can a person like me be so negative about a time of year when we are all meant to be so joyful and happy for everything in our lives? Sitting in a Christmas traffic jam and looking around me is the perfect time to really get to grips with what is going on around me.The expectant and rushed faces in the cars make them look like members of a flock caught in some whirlwind of buying and shopping and buying some more…just in case.this look of panic in case we forgot someone

After all the shops will be closed for 2 whole days and what on earth will we all do if we run out of things we need. Ah..there is that statement that jumps out at me …"things we need" or things that we think we need. Who runs out off food in 2 days? Now just in case you think I am one of those half naked tree hugging back to nature sorts ..I am not but I just cannot get into the whole hype of it all.It seems so futile. Yes… the music is lovely. Yes the mulled wine is even better! And the food is great. But what is it all about?

Is it about giving or about comparing the giving? My daughter was horrified last week at school when she deposited her presents on friends and one girl had given her a present that was in her mind more expensive than the one she had given. I got it in the ear the whole car journey back from school and naturally my renditions of "It's not about the money its about the giving" fell on deaf ears. Can I blame her for our different perceptions coming from a radically different childhood? She is growing up in a western consumerism society, I grew up in Africa. the two worlds could not be more opposite.

Can I blame her for our different perceptions coming from a radically different childhood? She is growing up in a western consumerism society, I grew up in Africa. The two are poles apart. At 12 years old the conditioning into believing that material goods bring self fulfillment has taken root. All around are tactics and advertising encouraging us to spend more, conditioning us to believe that the more we buy the happier we become. The more famous we are the better life we have.

Oh that life were so simple!

Oh that life were so simple! Take me back!

Don't get me wrong I do not go down the road of "money is the route of all evil" but I just feel it has all become too much. Money is great when you are happy with what you are doing. If you hate what you do then never in a million years will it change that.

Don't get me wrong I do not go down the road of "money is the route of all evil" but I just feel it has all become too much.Money is great when you are happy with what you are doing. If you hate what you do then never in a million years will it change that. In my personal life at present I am faced with two teenagers with so called "needs". The constant battle of enforcing household rules and in particular the one where money comes from doing jobs sometimes feels like a battle against society as well.

Don't get me wrong I do not go down the road of "money is the route of all evil" but I just feel it has all become too much.Money is great when you are happy with what you are doing. If you hate what you do then never in a million years will it change that. How many of us plod on in miserable lives waiting for the Holidays In my personal life at present I am faced with two teenagers with so called "needs". The constant battle of enforcing household rules and in particular the one where money comes from doing jobs sometimes feels like a battle against society as well. Its never ending.

When I lecture in college I use my students as a window on Society. Their attitudes and aspirations by the time they reach me are usually molded by school and most of all they arrive with preconceived ideas of learning. They have not discovered how to learn. Their curriculum is so tied up with results and stats that the joy of learning had been pushed aside. It has become results focused. I take it upon myself to try and retrain their thinking.

To show them that nothing is impossible when you unleash your creativity and find that natural curiosity that will turn you into a lifelong learner. I try my best using My stories of Africa and how people live there to extend their boundaries of what will make them happy. Some of them get it and move forward ..some don't.

So where do I stand?

I stand outside Western society right now looking in. I can see beyond it and what I can see is space, lots of flat open space off into the Horizon just to the point where the earth meets the sky. I can see myself there looking into the distance. I have a plan for the future that is working and that's what keeps me going for now.